1.) sometimes i feel really selfish. i have so many things in my life in which to find joy and happiness, that any time I feel down or upset, I feel i must reprimand myself for my selfishness. but i don't want to do this. i mean, it's good to think twice about things and to acknowledge your blessings, but i think you just have to let yourself be mad sometimes...even if you don't know how to explain yourself.
2.) i have a really bad habit of fleeing uncomfortable situations. if i don't feel like i know how to make them better, i leave. if i do not leave, i am miserable and cannot think of anything but how best to sneak away unnoticed. i think this is probably a bad habit, and yet i think it has its upside too. for instance, it's 1:45 in the morning and here i sit at my computer feeling better about things--because I have stepped away for a better perspective.
3.) just when you think you've conquered a great obstacle--after scaling its walls, solving its mysteries or wading through its muck (whichever it requires)--it spites you by showing up again, not far from where you though you left it. what's with that? are we required to bang our heads against brick walls forever without any hope of tearing them down? are we supposed to just learn to live with them? i don't think so. the answer probably has something to do with learning...it usually does...but right now, i am just frustrated. bang, bang, bang.
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